I'm Sick of Green

I’m sick of a lot of things: Barbie and Ken news commentators; scummy celebrities (from Prince Charles right on down); the way the minority rules in our country right now; a governor who is an embarrassment; a ribald joke of an ex-president; unbalanced reporting by the mainstream media, and “going green.”

It isn’t that I don’t like the color green. It’s one of my favorites, especially when it’s the color of leaves on trees (when I’m currently seeing nothing but winter-brown grass covered with snow and ice). I’m sick of this whole “green movement.”

An extreme example is the ridiculous concept of “carbon offsets.” The idea that you can go ahead and operate your billion-dollar corporate (or personal) jet to fly from here to there on a whim, and then you can offset that tremendous expenditure of carbon fuels and horrendous outpouring of exhaust gasses by simply paying some entity a big sum of money. Since when does lining someone’s pockets with money help to “save the environment”? And who is it that is getting the money? Peta? Whale watchers? Global Warming Enthusiasts? You can bet that it’s not reaching the rest of us who live ordinary lives and try our darndest to leave as small a footprint on this earth as we sensibly can.

I have yet to hear of a “green campaign” that didn’t turn out to be a hoax. Hybrid cars? They use up more fossil fuels providing the electricity that keeps them charged. Using dishes instead of disposable plates/cups/etc? So where do you think that dish-washing liquid comes from? Renewable sources of energy? Every one of them is more expensive to the environment once you dig beneath the surface statistics that are supposed to fool you. Gasahol? It’s nice for corn producers, but that corn has to be turned into alcohol, and that doesn’t happen with the flick of a wand. The list goes on and on.

And on a completely trivial and frivolous front, I don’t like the greens that are being forced on us as the “in” colors. Lime green and olive for living room walls? Come on! That’s a disgusting combination! Lime green and turquoise? We struggled through that combination in the 70s, and it’s no happier a marriage of color now than it was then.

I’d better quit this diatribe so I don’t have to go buy some carbon offsets for using up the airwaves (and the electricity it takes to run my laptop).

Smiles for Similes

There was a time when my Cousin Joy and I were stay-at-home moms, and we wrote to each other every week. We got so desparate for adult conversation that we set out to use big words as often as we could in our letters.

At some point we both decided to collect similies. Don't remember your literature? A simile is a comparison of two things using the words "like" or "as." A couple of examples are "slow as molasses in January," "She looked like the wrath of God," and "snug as a bug in a rug."

Over the years I wrote the similes I found in the margins of a book that was a collection of them. After I moved, I couldn't find the book, so I've just jotted them down on pieces of paper. Every once in awhile I come across one, and I get another chuckle out of it.

I remember when Jim's brother was going through his divorce, and he was so upset. He would visit us and unload about how he felt. It was very sad. The trouble was that he is a very humorous guy, and he would use these similes that would be so funny, I couldn't keep from bursting out laughing. My laughter was so inappropriate, but it was impossible not to laugh. The first one I remember was "slippery as snot on a glass door knob." Here I sit laughing so hard that tears have formed in my eyes. I wish I had recorded all of them that he said.

The other night I was finishing M. C. Beaton's book Death of a Gentle Lady, and up popped a simile I just had to save: “…her eyelashes were so heavily mascaraed, it looked as if two large spiders had found a home in her face.”

So now I'm starting over again to collect similes. Anyone want to join me?

Incidentally, if you can't get the comment thing to work, send your comments to my email, kdfyke@mchsi.com.

Oh, Those Orphaned Lids!

This frugality thing can be carried too far, especially for those of us who don’t routinely clear out our storage places.

This morning I tackled the plastic lid box. When we got new kitchen cabinets a few years ago, we bought roll-out racks on all the lower cabinets. As 2-year-old Pete says, “I lub ‘em.” To keep them “organized,” I put boxes or baskets on them to hold whatever is supposed to be on the shelf.

Over the years I’ve just tossed still-good plastic lids in a box on the lower shelf of a cabinet in the pantry. It got so I couldn’t find any lid I was looking for, so I added a counter-top box, which quickly filled to capacity. Today I weeded out about 7/8th of them, figuring I only needed 9 McDonalds large drink lids, 10 McDonalds coffee lids, 10 from Hucks, etc. I’m certain I don’t have many of the cups left…I hope.

In the process of sorting, I found the lids to several travel mugs. I thought those lids were long gone…..although I knew for certain that I had not intentionally thrown them away. Now those orphaned mugs can be put to use again. (Do I really NEED 7 plastic travel mugs???)

I also found about 20 sturdy lids that went to plastic containers of different sizes, shapes, and age. I can almost remember some of the containers, but I haven’t seen them in years. Now comes the hard part: I have to throw away those lids! And I KNOW that within a month I will find the container, and the lid will be gone.

Now, logic and common sense tell me that if I have not had lid+container in the recent past, I do not need that set. Still, my frugal (or crazy) nature abhors the thought of throwing those perfectly good lids away. But I’ll do it. Yes, I will. Yup, I’m on my way to the kitchen right now to pitch them in the trash…..or not. Tune in next time to find out if Karen still has a cupboard full of sturdy, orphaned lids!

Holy Ghost Lady

When I started this blog, I didn't really know much about blogs or what was expected of me. I could NOT think of a nifty name for my blog. Nothing sounded like ME. Well, now I've thought of something, and it's too late. I'm already signed on as Karendelane. Boring!

When we went to West Bluff Christian Church in West Peoria, IL, I taught a lot of Sunday School. I got the idea that we would teach the kids the Gloria Patri and the Doxology, since those were sung in every church service, and it seemed logical that kids would enjoy being able to join in. Naturally the words of those two song-lets are very unusual to kids.

After a few weeks we were making progress, and the kidlings were finally getting the hang of it. One Sunday I was absent, and one of the five-year-olds asked, "Where's the Holy Ghost Lady?"

Now, there's a good blog name! Holy Ghost Lady! Why didn't I think of that last year?

Well Water

“In winter, always set the handle of your pump as high as possible, before you go to bed. Except in very rigid weather, this keeps the handle from freezing. When there is reason to apprehend extreme cold do not forget to throw a rug or horse-blanket over your pump; a frozen pump is a comfortless preparation for a winter’s breakfast.” (Mrs. Child in American Frugal Housewife)

When I grew up in New Boston, we got our water from a pump. It stood on the lot line between our house and the neighbors’ so it was used by both. I remember how you had to work the handle up and down several times before it would start to bring up water, and I always worried that it wouldn’t work this time. Once you had the water coming, each time the handle was pushed down, water would gush from the spout into the bucket. It was beautiful!

And the water was the best I’ve ever tasted. New Boston sits on sand and near the Mississippi River. I don’t think the well was very deep at all, and all the sand served as a strainer and purifier, I guess. I wish that I had that kind of water in my house today!

Our well water was terrific, BUT you had to go get it, pump it, and bring the bucket back to the house. I like to think that I was in charge of bringing in the bucket every day, but I doubt if that was true. I got away with doing very few chores. Nevertheless it was common for Grandma to say, “Karen, go get a bucket of water,” and I don’t remember ever getting out of it.

Hygiene wasn’t the same then as it is now. The white enamel bucket sat on the corner of the counter with a long-handled enamel dipper placed in it. When you were thirsty, you drank right from the dipper. Sounds like everyone drinking from the same dipper is a nasty, dirty practice, but I don’t think we were any more likely to share germs that way than we were by living in the same enclosed airspace.

The place where that well was located is now in the middle of a carwash. I can't go back to get another drink of that wonderful water. Oh well.

1/4 PF + 1/3 wb + 1/4 hw = Too Much

Frugality is a good thing, but it takes practice. I managed to think of something to do with the 1/4 loaf of Pepperidge Farm bread, but then I found a 1/3 loaf of sliced white bread that had grown some mold. Win some, lose some. There's still a 1/4 loaf of honey wheat (boughten) bread there. I'm almost afraid to look to see if it's moldy. I need to get this bread GONE, so I can make some bread...in my bread machine, of course. I'm not too good on the kneading thing.

Tonight for supper I made up a small batch of sage dressing, poured cream of chicken soup over it and nestled two boneless chicken breasts on top. Baked it for about 40 minutes. Came out really tasty....and the Pepperidge Farm bread got used up before it molded. That's a first.

The birds (mostly starlings, of course) thought my bread plentitude was right on! They may get a bunch of honey wheat tomorrow...if I get up the courage to see if it's molded yet.

My mother (frugal to the bone) always kept her bread in the refrigerator (I almost said "ice box.") I think she got in the habit when Father was baking bread right and left, faster than they could eat it up. The bread didn't mold as quickly, but it always seemed drier than that left in plastic bags on the counter. After Father died, there was only her to eat up a loaf of bread, so into the frige it went. I never heard her complain, but I don't like refrigerator stored bread.

Mrs. Child on Bread

Now here’s an example of real frugality:

“As far as it is possible, have bits of bread eaten up before they become hard. Spread those that are not eaten, and let them dry, to be pounded for puddings, or soaked for brewis. Brewis is made of crusts and dry pieces of bread, soaked a good while in hot milk, mashed up, and salted, and buttered like toast. Above all, do not let crusts accumulate in such quantities that they cannot be used. With proper care, there is no need of losing a particle of bread, even in the hottest weather.” (p. 8 of American Frugal Housewife, 1833)

Right now on my counter are 2 partial loaves of bread, and I doubt if we will get them used before one or the other is infested with mold. I love bread! I want to try every loaf of bread on the store shelves. I want to make bread in my bread machine. I want to have buns on hand when I need them, and packages of Crescent rolls and Grands in the refrigerator. Trouble is that there are only two of us in the house, and both of us are supposed to be watching our weights.

My favorite bread was the sourdough bread I used to make when I still had the “starter.” The smell of that bread rising and baking was wonderful. Eventually I got tired of feeding the starter when I knew I wasn’t going to have time to make the bread, so I threw the starter out. I wish I hadn’t. It’s hard to get real sour dough starter going again. I’ve heard you can do it by putting yeast in some water and letting it sit out on the counter for a couple of days. I’ve also heard that this starter isn’t strong enough to support the weight of the bread. I suppose you can always add more regular yeast in addition to the sourdough starter, but I haven’t tried it yet.

When I’m pretty sure we’re not going to finish a partial loaf of bread or a lone roll, I crumble it up and put it out for the birds. Of course, the birds who mostly profit from this feast are starlings, but I don’t really care. They’re funny to watch, and if they didn’t congregate in such huge numbers, no one would mind them being around. More about starlings another day.

All in all, I’m glad I don’t live in the day when bread was so precious that we had to hoard every single crumb.

Nora's Doll Clothes

I admire frugality. That said, I didn't make Nora's birthday doll clothes out of scraps because it's frugal. The blue of the pants, jacket and skirt are blue flannel that I used to make Nigel's Superman suit last Halloween. The purple print that I used for the blouse as well as the one for the dress are the scraps from a dresses I made Nora last summer. You can buy nice doll clothes fabric, but you can't buy memories.

Furnishing Your Home the Frugal Way

Mrs. Child says, “If you are about to furnish a house, do not spend all your money, be it much or little. Do not let the beauty of this thing, and the cheapness of that, tempt you to buy unnecessary articles. …Buy merely enough to get along with at first. It is only by experience that you can tell what will be the wants of your family. If you spend all your money, you will find you have purchased many things you do not want, and have no means left to get many things which you do want. If you have enough, and more than enough, to get everything suitable to your situation, do not think you must spend it all, merely because you happen to have it. Begin humbly

“Neatness, tastefulness, and good sense, may be shown in the management of a small household, and the arrangement of a little furniture, as well as upon a larger scale; and these qualities are always praised, and always treated with respect and attention. The consideration which many purchase by living beyond their income, and of course living upon others, is not worth the trouble it costs.

“ To what are the increasing beggary and discouraged exertions of the present period [1832] owing? A multitude of causes have no doubt tended to increase the evil; but the root of the whole matter is the extravagance of all classes of people. … Let women do their share towards reformation—…Let them prove, by the exertion of ingenuity and economy, that neatness, good taste, and gentility, are attainable without great expense.”

I don’t think I ever set out to be thrifty in my purchases for the house. In fact, I can only think of a few things that we bought new. One was a hide-a-bed when we were first married, because our apartment was three rooms of a big old house and there was no proper bedroom. The color of the Nylon frise fabric was a light mauve, not our favorite for sure, but it’s all there was available at Cohen’s Furniture Store when we went shopping. We lugged that heavy old monster from place to place until finally we gave it to Jim's folks.

In Kansas City we bought a Boston rocker that was never really comfortable. I got it because I thought it would be good for rocking babies to sleep, but the darned thing tended to creep back as you rocked, which necessitated a baby-jarring lurch forward every once in awhile. We still have that chair, although one of the back rungs is broken. It's still not comfortable.

We also bought a desk from Montgomery Wards while we were in Kansas City. Jim was taking courses at the U. of Missouri at Kansas City and needed a place to study. One of the kids has that desk now.

When we lived in Kent, Ohio, we bought a table and chairs and another rocker. Robin has the table now, and most of the chairs are broken. They were the most comfortable of all our “kitchen” chairs though. The platform rocker was of a dark teal nylon fabric that was rough on un-sleeved elbows. The ball-bearing arrangement that made the chair swivel kept breaking. I think we replaced it 5 times. The last time Jim did it, he put in another board or something, and ever after that the chair let everyone in the house know it was being sat in. I’ve wanted to put it on the curb so someone can adopt it, but Bradley insists he wants it. He says it’s the perfect video game chair. Something about the arms being just the right height for holding the control gizmo.

In Kent Jim bought me a Baldwin piano. Oh, I have loved that piano! I gave it to Robin last year when he got me a Yamaha electric piano. In many ways the old one was best, but it sure is fun to have all those different sounds by just pushing buttons.

After we moved back to Peoria I selected another hide-a-bed. This one is from Ethan Allen and we have it still….and I still like it. The cover is gray, but I don’t hold that against it.

I guess we’ve bought other new furniture: a studio bed for Susan, mattresses and springs, an “entertainment center,” etc. But most of the furniture that clogs my house is hand-me-downs or auction finds. I look at other people who buy complete sets of new furniture and I wonder if I could ever do that. I don’t think so. There’s something comforting about living with “found treasures.”

So, if you’re just starting out, don’t buy all new furniture. Like Mrs. Childs says, buy what you absolutely must have and add other things as you go along.

Save one-fourth of all you earn.

Page 4 of the American Frugal Housewife

“It is wise to keep an exact account of all you expend—even of a paper of pins. This answers two purposes; it makes you more careful in spending money, and it enables your husband to judge precisely whether his family live within his income. No false pride, or foolish ambition to appear as well as others, should ever induce a person to live one cent beyond the income of which he is certain. If you have two dollars a day, let nothing but sickness induce you to spend more than nine shillings; if you have one dollar a day, do not spend but seventy-five cents; if you have half a dollar a day, be satisfied to spend forty cents.”

Does it frighten you when you go shopping and see that you have spent $100 without really noticing it? Groceries, drug store items, pet supplies, laundry detergent, paper supplies…they add up so very fast. I once had a little clicker-dealie that would keep track of how much I had in my grocery cart. It was really low-tech, but it worked fine…as long as I didn’t get distracted and forget whether I had entered something or not. The same problem occurs with calculators. I suppose some people have little computers that will tell them what they’ve entered, but I don’t. I sometimes try to keep a mental rough tally. None of these things, however, keep me from buying things I don’t really need.

I think frugality in spending is a mind-set. If you feel well-off, you don’t need to keep track of things or say “no” to things. On the other hand, if you know that your financial situation is precarious, you’re more likely to think before you buy. I’m told that this kind of thinking becomes a habit. Living through the Great Depression certainly impressed this mind-set on my mother! She’d pick something up and look and the price, then put it back and say, “I don’t need that.” I don’t want to be as penny-pinching as she was, but I can certainly do better than I do.

Save one-fourth of our income? Whew! That’s asking a lot. I’ll have to do some powerful thinking on this item of Mrs. Child’s Frugal Housewife advice.

Children's Chores

Mrs. Child, that Frugal Housewife of 1832, advises us to have children do lots of things for themselves. She says,

“Children can early be taught to take all the care of their clothes.
They can knit garters, suspenders, and stockings; they can make patchwork and braid straw; they can make mats for the table, and mats for the floor; they can weed the garden, and pick cranberries from the meadow, to be carried to market.”

Well, that was 175 years ago, and things are a bit different now. I can tell you that I never let my kids get near the washer and dryer! Not because I didn’t like to do the job (see Jan. 31 blog), but because I didn’t want them to wreck those precious machines. My Aunt Mary said that every time she went by her dryer, she patted it and thanked it for being there. I understand totally. I never wanted the kids to use my iron either. I remember when I was a teenager and Mother was a registered nurse who wore starched white uniforms every day. She never wanted me to use (or abuse) the iron, and she DEFINITELY didn’t want me to iron her uniforms. So you can bet that’s exactly what I WANTED to do. Maybe that’s why I’ve always liked ironing?!

Anyway, how could kids today take care of their own clothing? I suppose it’s not too much to ask that they take their dirty laundry to the laundry room. I’ve tried that. When they were teens, I threatened that if they didn’t take the dirty clothes to the basement, they would not have any clean clothes to wear. For the most part I stuck with this one, but that doesn’t mean that they learned to “take care of their own clothes.” I could never get any of them into the habit of putting their clean clothes away. Mate socks? Never. Hang up their coats? Seldom. And I’m not a bit unusual. Most mothers have the same complaints. Mrs. Child where are you? We need you today!