In's and Out's of Language

The way language changes fascinates me. This article is funny and enlightening.

The Last Page – Smithsonian Magazine, March 2008-p.112
Electrocybertronics: Marketing Through Pseudoscience by Alex Boese

Want to put your company or product on the cutting edge of science? Simple. Add a trendy prefix or suffix to its name. But beware: what linguistic fashion raises up, it can also bring down.
Electric. In the 19th century, electricity represented the future, so marketers affixed “electro” prefixes to any and everything. Consumers could purchase Dr. Hallock’s Electric Polishing Powder for touching up your silver. Such products shared a common trait: they had absolutely nothing to do with electricity, though just thinking about the Galvano-Electric Regenerator (“a certain cure for Spermatorrhea, Impotency, Seminal Losses, etc.”) must have caused some to feel tingly all over. At least electro-lumps—a marketer’s brainstorm for coal—could actually generate electric current.
-ex. How or why the “-ex” suffix came to be associated with things scientific has baffled researchers. (One theory holds that it evokes such highbrow, Latin-derived technical terms as “convex” and “cortex.”) During the first half of the 20th century, -ex’s multiplied like wire hangers in a coat closet: Pyrex, Sinex, Playtex—and let’s not forget Kleenex. But progress marches on and recent decades have favored a new and improved version: “-ix.” Thus, we now have Technix (a manufacturer of rubber and plastic products) and even --double or nothing—Solarix Intellectronix (a search engine). In 2005, a European court dismissed a trademark infringement case brought by publishers of the Asterix comic strip against MobiliX software project. With this legal hurdle cleared, ixpect an –ix-filled insistence.
-ola. During the early 20th century, manufacturers decided that “-ola” would add a warm glow of technological competence to audio and electronic products—despite an unfortunate association with such infectious diseases as rubeola. The fad began with a player piano trademarked in 1900 as Pianola. (Arthur Loesser, a piano historian, said the suffix “sounded easily mechanical, playfully pleasant.”) Then, along came Victrola, Radiola, Rock-Ola, Moviola and Motorola. But “ola” fell out of favor during the “payola” radio scandals of the 1960s (until the food industry resurrected it for a range of wholesome, nutritious wannabes such as Bran’nola and canola).
-tronics. In its April 1961 issue, Time magazine noted that “a stock whose name suggests either electronics or technical mystery seems sure to have a jump in price.” Certainly “-tronics” were everywhere: Radiatronics, Eltronics and Powerton Ultrasonics. This magical suffix did not prevent many of such companies from short-circuiting when the –tronics stock bubble ultimately burst in 1962.
Cyber-. Author William Gibson is usually credited, or blamed, for the “cyber” prefix because he introduced the concept of “cyberspace” in his 1984 novel Neuromancer. By the mid-1990s, cyber-mania was in full swing, producing such oddities as Chanel’s Cyber Glow cosmetics and designer Betsey Johnson’s “Suzie Cyber” fashion line, despite, one journalist noted, that “in cyberspace no one can see what you’re wearing.” By the end of the decade, cyber-nausea had set in and overusers of the term were banished to Cyberia.
Nano- Lately the prefix trend has been shrinking. During the 1980s, “mini-“ gave way to “micro-,” which has yielded to “nano-.” In the new millennium, companies such as Nanometrics, Nanogen and NanoPierce Technologies have all embraced the prefix, despite complaints their products were hardly nano-scale (a billionth of a meter or smaller). Even Eddie Bauer sells stain-resistant nano-pants. (They’re available in extra-large” for the retailer’s not-so-nano customers.) Proceeding down the scale leads one inexorably to yocto-, a metric prefix meaning one-septillionth. If you’re thinking of trademarking yocto, you’d better move fast, before the iPod Yocto appears on store shelves.

Alex Boese is the author of Hippo Eats Dwarf: A Field Guide to Hoaxes and Other B. S. (Harcourt, 2006). He lives in San Diego.

Choose "Cool"

Whether you like Barack Obama or not, there is a gloss of celebrity that coats him. Can you believe that people would actually vote for someone because they think he's handsome? Well, yeah. They did it when Kennedy was running, didn't they?

The middle school kids at my grandson's school are all "for Obama." They "hate Clinton." Why? Well, because he's cool, and she's not. Unfortunately for our country there are a lot of grown-ups who are selecting our next president on the basis of "cool" alone.

World's Greatest Hand Cream

Every winter, all winter, I have problems with cracks in the skin of my thumb right beside the nail. I know you know what I mean, because everyone else has the same problem. Sometimes I have hangnails. Everyone knows about hangnails, too.

Well, there is a cure, a solution. The answer to a maiden's prayer ---oops, that's something else--is No-Crack Hand Cream. It's made by the Dumont Company (not DuPont) in LaCrosse, Wisconsin, and it's terrific.

I got my first jar of it many years ago at Smith's Drug Store in Peoria. It comes in three forms, All-Purpose, Day, and Night. They had little sample jars of the Day cream at Smith's Drugs for $.69 a jar. After I tried it out, I went back and bought enough to give everyone in my church a jar and put one in every Christmas stocking that year. About once a year since then I'd go back and buy another supply, even taking orders from people at church.

Well, now I'm just about out of the Night Cream, and Smith's Drug Store has gone out of business! It's not sold on-line as far as I can determine, and I'm trying to get a local beauty shop to stock it. There are three other places in Peoria that carry it, but all three are really inconvenient to get to.

If you're interested in ending your cracked winter skin or hangnail problem, go to the internet and look up nocrack.com to find out where it can be purchased near you. You'll be glad you did!

Sour Dough and I

I have a long love-affair with sourdough bread. Unfortunately, I don't have much luck getting my affair going again. Years ago I made bread and biscuits and pancakes all the time. The aroma was stunning.

I sent to Goldrush (through the internet) and got some starter yeast. It looked just like dried yeast. At first things went just fine, but then the whole thing seemed to slow to a crawl, and there weren't many bubbles. I thought maybe I was feeding it too often. Then maybe I wasn't using the right combination of flour/water/etc. Maybe it was too cool....or too warm. Or maybe I stirred it too much.

Today Mrs. Depleume sent me a site that is the cat's pajamas (to quote a new term). It's got pictures that show what the stuff is supposed to look like. And it tells how to get started, how to know if the stuff needs more food, and what each stage of the mixing of the bread should look like. There's also pictures of the finished product. Never in all my infatuation with Mr. Dough did I ever have a loaf that looked that beautiful!

I notice that she talks about a few pieces of equipment that I don't have: bell, stone, Wal-Mart plastic spoon, and a couple I don't recognize and can't recall. Maybe if I get all the equipment, I'll be successful again.

So tonight I fed my starter a hefty dose of flour and water and put it in the oven with the oven light on. Now that I know what Sour Dough likes, I may be able to have successful bread again.

For those of you who want to visit the wonderful sourdough bread site, I've included it in my list of good sites on the right pane of this blog.