I keep hoping and hoping that the “Got Milk” magazine ads will go away, but they don’t. In my new issue of Better Homes and Gardens, there’s this woman in a black leotard with that gosh-awful white stuff painted over her upper lip. Gross! I guess I’m supposed to know who the woman is and be impressed that she drinks milk. All those ads do for me is to make me turn the page fast so I don’t have to look at them.
A few pages before that milk ad there was one of a baby in a high chair with food smeared all over his/her face, hair, hands, arms, and the chair. It’s supposed to be funny and cute. I found it repulsive. I couldn’t stand looking at it long enough to figure out that it was advertising some kind of paper towel. Jim figured that out for me when I griped to him about the ad.
Which brings me to all those “cute” photos of babies and their first birthday cakes. What’s cute about making fun of a little kid’s inexperience and inability to managed forks? I don’t have any pictures like that of my kids, because I didn’t think it was something they would want to be reminded of when they were teenagers. I wonder if they appreciate my thoughtfulness?
And since I’m on this soap box, I’m going to have my say about those awful wedding reception shots where the bride or groom crams the cake all over the face of his/her new spouse. Personally, I don’t think that bodes well for their relationship. Any groom who would so mess up his wife’s make-up at a time when she really needs to be pretty is not likely to be caring and thoughtful during their married lives. And any bride who would so demean her new husband is a fool. It takes a lot of kindness and thoughtfulness to make a marriage work, and a couple can never start that learning process too soon.
Remember the pie-in-the face gags? Why do people think they're funny? If that were to happen to me, I would be infuriated. I could watch Soupy Sales or Sid Caesar until they got to plastering some boob with a pie, and then I used my ultimate weapon. I changed the station.
Note to friends and family: Don't EVER even consider pitching something into my face!
Tuesday, May 20, 2008
Saturday, May 3, 2008
Teenagers Are Good For Something!
So Where Did They Go?
Or The Mysterious Disappearances at Our House
I’m beginning to see that there are definite advantages to having kids living here. At least, there is one advantage: they can take the blame for things that disappear.
Case in point: I have already told you about thinning out my plastic kitchen storage containers. (It hurt to throw those odd lids away, but I did it!) I went to the store and bought all Ziplock storage containers. That way I wouldn’t have to search for a lid to fit a container. There are just 3 sizes of lids and they fit 4 sizes of containers. It’s a great plan and it ought to have brought me great peace of mind: Select a container, open the drawer with the lids, pick out a lid, and put it on the container.
Well, it doesn’t seem to work that way. Tonight I needed a small container for one serving of creamed peas and potatoes. (Yes, I will eat this leftover.) I found the little round container (one of three identical containers on the shelf), opened the lid drawer, and there’s no lid that size. There was a smaller round lid, but no container that it matches. Now where did it come from? So what happened to the three round lids? And where’s the smaller container? And why are there only 3 round containers when I bought them in a set of 4. (Ordinarily I would think I had some stuff stored in the container in the refrigerator, undoubtedly growing lovely hair, but I just emptied all the stored stuff from the refrigerator 2 days ago.)
Second case in point: When Middle Daughter was at Wesleyan, we got her a set of cheap-o silverware with dark green plastic handles. (Or was it Youngest Daughter at Millikin??) Anyway, when the girl (whichever one it was) graduated, she brought the things home and they got mixed in with our other silverware. Jim decided that these particular spoons were perfect for eating cereal in the morning. At first there were 6 of them. Then there were 5, but Boy Child was still living here, and he probably lost it in his room somewhere. Ditto #4. But then Boy Child left, and slowly but surely the spoons are disappearing. There’s only one left. So where did the others go?
You see how handy it is to have kids around. You never have to worry your mind over where things have gone. “The kids have them.” “The kids lost them.” “The kids probably dumped them in the can when they scraped their plates into the garbage” Wait. That won’t work. They NEVER cleaned their plates off! That would be too close to doing dishes, and that’s strictly someone else’s job.
So you who still have kids at home and who are counting the days until they are gone and peace returns to your lives, remember that there is at least one good thing that comes from having them live with you. This isn't enough to make them worth it, but it is a little consolation.
Or The Mysterious Disappearances at Our House
I’m beginning to see that there are definite advantages to having kids living here. At least, there is one advantage: they can take the blame for things that disappear.
Case in point: I have already told you about thinning out my plastic kitchen storage containers. (It hurt to throw those odd lids away, but I did it!) I went to the store and bought all Ziplock storage containers. That way I wouldn’t have to search for a lid to fit a container. There are just 3 sizes of lids and they fit 4 sizes of containers. It’s a great plan and it ought to have brought me great peace of mind: Select a container, open the drawer with the lids, pick out a lid, and put it on the container.
Well, it doesn’t seem to work that way. Tonight I needed a small container for one serving of creamed peas and potatoes. (Yes, I will eat this leftover.) I found the little round container (one of three identical containers on the shelf), opened the lid drawer, and there’s no lid that size. There was a smaller round lid, but no container that it matches. Now where did it come from? So what happened to the three round lids? And where’s the smaller container? And why are there only 3 round containers when I bought them in a set of 4. (Ordinarily I would think I had some stuff stored in the container in the refrigerator, undoubtedly growing lovely hair, but I just emptied all the stored stuff from the refrigerator 2 days ago.)
Second case in point: When Middle Daughter was at Wesleyan, we got her a set of cheap-o silverware with dark green plastic handles. (Or was it Youngest Daughter at Millikin??) Anyway, when the girl (whichever one it was) graduated, she brought the things home and they got mixed in with our other silverware. Jim decided that these particular spoons were perfect for eating cereal in the morning. At first there were 6 of them. Then there were 5, but Boy Child was still living here, and he probably lost it in his room somewhere. Ditto #4. But then Boy Child left, and slowly but surely the spoons are disappearing. There’s only one left. So where did the others go?
You see how handy it is to have kids around. You never have to worry your mind over where things have gone. “The kids have them.” “The kids lost them.” “The kids probably dumped them in the can when they scraped their plates into the garbage” Wait. That won’t work. They NEVER cleaned their plates off! That would be too close to doing dishes, and that’s strictly someone else’s job.
So you who still have kids at home and who are counting the days until they are gone and peace returns to your lives, remember that there is at least one good thing that comes from having them live with you. This isn't enough to make them worth it, but it is a little consolation.
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